Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
