You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
