yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
