i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
