So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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