Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
