Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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