Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
