Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize