Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize