your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
