I hope mine doesn't look like that
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
