the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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