and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
