Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now