He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great