Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nutella sex= disaster
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
