I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
