dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
