Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
