He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
