I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
