I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
