And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
