he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
