you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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