ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
