I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize