im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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