why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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