its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
