I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
