look no pants
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
