i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize