Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
