All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
