I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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