I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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