Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
