WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
