Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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