There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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