so explain again why im purple
no
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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