The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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