I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
