Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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