ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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