Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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