so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize