covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dicks are not precious.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
