I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have post one night stand depression
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
