Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I look better un-naked...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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