Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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