Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
