Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
