also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.