Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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