We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
