Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
