OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
zippers are such a cool invention
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
