genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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