Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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