umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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