The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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