ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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